Motoring Legends of Australia on Jasmine the car-driving agent of death…
JASMINE DRIVES a black car. She doesn’t actually know what kind, Daddy just gave it to her. Despite the fact that her Instagram profile says she’s a fashion influencer, and her tax return says she’s a retail assistant, the truth is her real occupation is an Agent of Death.
She does the reaper’s bidding using such cruel and unusual methods as applying make-up in stop-start traffic, and using a mobile device at 190km/h. Perhaps her most bizarre means of carrying road users into the next realm, though, is her uncanny ability to be paying perfect attention at traffic lights when she’s second in line, delivering a heart-attack inducing toot of her horn 0.00001 seconds after the light turns green.
I say, my dear Jasmine, please move that filthy little carriage out of the way.
She is also the one who moves into the right hand lane and stays there, below the speed limit, right up until she has to get off the freeway. She then charges across, oblivious to the rest of the traffic desperately trying to avoid her.