Car News

Meet Halloween’s Horrific H-0WL3R

Halloween is here and UK insurance company has revealed its Horrific H-0WL3R which is comprised of the most unreliable cars in the UK… and some are sold in Australia.

WITH DATA DRAWN from is Reliability Index and 50,000 live policies, UK insurance company Warranty Direct has revealed its Horrific H-0WL3R, which is constructed from car components which statistically are the most prone to failure. “As a result it breaks down every other month and regularly feasts on the contents of its owner’s bank account, costing an average of £487 to repair,” Warranty Direct said.

The Horrific H-0WL3R sits on a Mazda 5’s axle and suspension system (Mazda 5 is a people mover that’s never been available in Australia). According to Warranty Direct, the suspension inflicts problems on almost three quarters of Mazda 5s.

“Power comes from a motor torn from under the bonnet of a Mitsubishi Outlander. This engine will be to blame for almost half of the many failed starts that the Horrific H-0WL3R will experience, with some 48.3% blighted by such issues,” Warranty Direct said.

“Once started, stopping the Horrific H-0WL3R could also make your heart skip a beat. Surprisingly, the Mazda MX-5 donates its braking system to the H-0WL3R. Although the car experiences most problems as infrequently as Halloween itself, in almost 50% of these instances, the issue is related to the brakes.  

“Adding to this engineering monstrosity is the Chevrolet Tacuma. For drivers of the Horrific H-0WL3R, turning corners and swapping cogs will most likely be an unpleasant experience thanks to a steering system and gearbox which have both been proven to plague 33% of Tacumas with reliability woes.

“Passengers too will feel the car’s wrath but via its temperamental electrics and ventilation system. The complex electrics of a Lexus GS will cause regular headaches with a 67% failure rate, while the wheezing air conditioning system of a Honda CR-V is likely to bring unpredictable temperatures and a lamentable failure rate of 18.4%,” Warranty Direct said.

Thank goodness you can’t actually buy this thing. Happy Halloween.


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Ziggy
Ziggy
4 years ago

Love it.
They should’ve added some Jeep parts for the unique dealer relationship.

Isaac Bober

Isaac Bober